As writers and/or bloggers, most of us crave public attention--or perhaps it might be a bit more modest to say that we covet the attention of our readers, and the more we attract, the better. If we were really honest, though, we might even admit that we dream, at times, of what it might be like to be swept up in a wave of intense popularity--a wave so immense that the attention leaves us reeling.
Campaign Fantasy
In this election year, as we watch the candidates engage their public along the campaign trail, our own sensitive psyches can become so easily enamored with our secret dreams of fame and grandeur. So much so, in fact, that a part of us would readily receive an announcement such as the one depicted in the following video, which my brother recently (and somewhat deviously) informed me he'd found circulating on the internet about me:
NOTE: If the video isn't visible, please click either the post title (above) or the "Add Comments" link (below).
Well (sigh), we can all dream, can't we?
Your Own Private Campaign Fantasy
What do you think it would be like to watch this video, with your name displayed in it, instead of mine? I can tell you, it was a very strange feeling from my vantage point! If you'd like to find out (or prefer to send this video to your friends and let them find out), visit this News3Online link. I guarantee that you (or your friends) will experience a very unusual reaction.
To your great--if short-lived--fame!
Jeanne
Did you enjoy this post? Have any thoughts? What do you think your reaction would be to receiving a message that this video was circulating the internet about you? Have you watched your own version of the video? If so, how did it make you feel? If not, do you plan to? Why or why not? Have you sent it to someone you know? What was this person's reaction?
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In honor of Super Bowl Sunday, which has become somewhat of an American institution, I've decided to post a piece I wrote some years back--one which expresses a rather unconventional "perspective' on America's favorite sport and one which I hope will bring a few laughs to my readers--whether you happen to love the sport or the sportsman!
_____________________________
Just Suppose:
A Sport's Spouse's Alternative to the Super Bowl
By Jeanne Dininni
A Bright Idea!
One Sunday my husband and his friend Rod were watching a pre-Super Bowl game on TV. "What's so unusual about that?" you ask. Well, nothing, really--except that, from the kitchen, I could hear him ask Rod, "So, who're you gonna vote for?" Quaint way of putting it, I thought at first. But that deceptively simple question really got me thinking.
Just suppose...
Instead of making those poor guys go to all the trouble of actually playing the games, what if we simply held an election to vote in the most popular team? (This just might be the proverbial revolutionary new idea whose time has come.) In any event, it would certainly make life simpler for a lot of people.
Take the teams, themselves, for instance. Everybody knows that football is one of the most dangerous of contact sports. Think how many sports-related injuries could be prevented each year by the implementation of this new "scoring system." (Really. I do think I just might have something here.)
Kicking or Kicking Back?
And just think how much easier these same players would have it if they weren't forced to contend with the rigors (and almost legendary deprivations) of spring training. They'd no longer be required to "get in shape" for the upcoming season. Instead of perfecting kicking, they could practice kicking back. They'd be free to eat and drink whatever they liked and as much as they liked, to party as often as they liked, and stay out as late as they liked--all notorious no-nos during training. (At least, they'd finally be able to do these things without guilt.) And the incredible pressure to mentally outfox and physically outmaneuver the opposing team out on the field would suddenly be blissfully absent. What more could an athlete ask for? Sounds like "football player's heaven" to me.
Of course, there is the small matter of the "thrill of competition," which is, presumably, one of the main reasons players choose the sport to begin with. But, isn't facing off at the ballot box every bit as competitive as facing off on the playing field? Of course it is. I will concede, however, that winning an election might not be quite as thrilling as scoring that winning touchdown as the last seconds tick away on the clock (though George W. Bush might not agree with me on that one.) But life is full of trade-offs. We can't have everything.
And yes, there's also that little matter of the second reason so many athletic types become football players (or, for that matter, engage in any physically demanding sport): precisely because they are athletic types. They thrive on the rigorous, rough-and-tumble physical exertion inherent in the game. On this "score" I can only respond, with complete candor and (I think) a good deal of reason, that, whether they realize it or not, they're much better off displaying their physical prowess by adopting other, more innocuous (and even, perhaps, more productive) exercise regimens.
I can think of quite a few suitable activities for the displaced jock, myself, in fact. How about calisthenics? Isometrics. Jogging. Jumping rope. (They already do those?) Well, aerobics, then. As any woman knows, this form of exercise is very beneficial for the heart, not to mention the physique. (Oh, OK, scratch aerobics.)
Shining Examples of Responsible Manhood!
Better still would be mowing the lawn, washing the car, painting the living room, or building a deck. (These would truly endear them to all the sports wives of America, to whose husbands they would become a shining example of responsible manhood.) I will admit that these last four activities do lack a little something in the area of excitement, but (as any truly honest husband can tell you), this is more than compensated for by the unparalleled feeling of accomplishment engendered by their successful completion. (No?) Well, I suppose they could try mountain climbing. Or rappelling. Maybe skydiving?
At any rate, let's face it. It is in their own best interests to stop killing themselves (and each other) out there on the field. One hardly expects them to realize it, of course. People--particularly the proud and stubborn male of the species--rarely recognize what's good for them at the time. (We women have known that for centuries.) And someone has to make such decisions. So why shouldn't we women be the ones to do it? As I see it, men are simply too close to the subject to be expected to make a rational decision about it.
Now, let's be forthright about this. Even our own husbands' lives would be greatly simplified by the adoption of the new system of voting in the winning team--though they'd never admit it in a million football seasons.
A Penny Saved Makes a Happy Wife!
For one thing, they'd save a small fortune on all the tee shirts, caps, emblems, and other memorabilia that have become such an integral part of modern America's favorite sport. Not to mention the monumental mounds of fattening foods they compulsively consume during the pre-game shows, the two-plus-hour-long games, and the endless after-game commentaries. (This adds up to some serious snacking.)
The savings would be even greater for those who prefer to watch their favorite sport on wide-screen TV while sipping a cool one with their buddies at the local bar (with the added benefit of sparing many a domestic squabble arising from all those hours of elbow tipping.) And who could even begin to calculate the monetary value of the losing bets that slip through far too many foolish fingers each year on Super Bowl Sunday?
It is, of course, the truly fanatical football fan, the one who must actually attend the game in person, with all the varied (and considerable) expenses that entails (i.e., tickets, transportation, souvenirs, and yes, highly overpriced snacks at the stadium) who would realize the greatest savings of all. Think how much more money these guys would have to spend on more worthwhile endeavors (like changing the oil, buying new drapes or upholstery, or taking their wives out to dinner...dancing...the theater!)
Is There Life After Football?
And what about time? Imagine how much more the average armchair athlete could do on a Sunday afternoon if he didn't spend it glued to the TV set. He might take a placid stroll through the park, go for an invigorating jog, or pedal a bicycle for a few muscle-strengthening miles (that is, if he hasn't forgotten how.) It would work wonders for his health and fitness. Why, he might actually even venture out into the yard occasionally and toss a real, three-dimensional pigskin around for a while with his very own hands (and just maybe--wonder of wonders--with his very own kids!) That would certainly be a novel idea.
And just think--we heretofore longsuffering sports spouses might actually be able to enjoy, once again, a lazy, quiet, peaceful, and solitary Super Bowl Sunday, perhaps doing a little reading, working a crossword, or watching a meaningful movie--a women's movie...(sigh)...
"What's that, Dear? Yes, I'm making the shopping list for the Big Day. What was it you wanted again? Popcorn...Pretzels...Chips... Dip...Cold Cuts...Cheese...French Bread...
"For how many?!"
Oh, boy. Here we go again...
_________________________
Have a Great Super Bowl Sunday!
Thanks so much for reading my tongue-in-cheek look at the Super Bowl--from the perspective of the ever-patient, always-faithful, incredibly longsuffering sports spouse!
Hope the guys won't take this lighthearted piece more seriously than I intended but that they will receive it in the spirit of good fun in which it was written! And may each and every one of you enjoy a fantasticSuper Bowl Sunday 2008! (Ladies, hang tough! It'll all be over soon, and your man will be happy you gave him permission to enjoy it! Just make sure he helps you clean up after the party!)
Go, Team!
Jeanne
Did you enjoy this post? Have any Super Bowl thoughts or experiences of your own that you'd like to share? We'd love to hear them!
Cindy, at Kaleidoscope, penned a very gracious post about my Alienation ABCs blog post, linking to both my blog and my alienation post; so I thought I'd return the favor and send a little link love her way, since her blog (appropriately) contains a fascinating kaleidoscope of content, which is sure to bring a smile to your face or make you think. Many thanks, Cindy, for spreading the word about my post! I truly do appreciate it!
A Kaleidoscope of Content
While not specifically related to writing, Cindy's blog provides a welcome break from routine writing tasks--a few entertaining moments of rest and relaxation amid the rigors of the writing life--helping to renew your inspiration and igniting that spark of imagination that can refresh your viewpoint for your next project.
One post that I found especially entertaining was "Dear Tech Support", a post which humorously equates wives with computer software. Check it out. Very imaginative!
Another funny, philosophical post is Dust If You Must.... If you hate housework as much as I do, you'll love this one! You'll truly appreciate the permission it grants you to do other, more important things instead!
The Sky Was on Firecontains two breathtaking sunset photos captured in Cindy's backyard, and for all you lovers of nature's beauty, is definitely worth the price of admission!
For the Christians among us, Cell Phone vs. Bible will definitely get us thinking about where our priorities lie!
A Little Bit of Everything
Cindy's blog has a little bit of everything: posts to make us laugh, posts to make us smile, posts to make us cheer, photos to make us ooh and aah--and much more. It's a safe place to kick back and relax at the end of a trying day--or even in the middle of one--and simply enjoy some entertaining, inspiring, or thought-provoking content.
Check out Kaleidoscope. It just might be the lift you need to get you through the day!
Enjoy!
Jeanne
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add? Your comments are always welcome!
Here are a few more great quotes on writing critics and writing criticism, just in case you could use another dose of humor, wisdom, irony, or wit. Some of these literary tidbits are serious, some hilarious, some straightforward and some oh so barbed--but all are worth the read!
The best thing you can do about critics is never say a word. In the end you have the last say, and they know it. ~Tennessee Williams~
The critic should describe and not prescribe. ~Eugene Ionesco~
The only really difficult thing about a poem is the critic's explanation of it. ~Frank Moore Colby~
I don't read my reviews, I measure them. ~Joseph Conrad~
Critics of literature have the same essential function as teachers of literature: this is not to direct the judgment of the audience, but to assist the audience in those disciplines of reading on which any meaningful judgment must rest. ~Mark Schorer~
Critics sometimes appear to be addressing themselves to works other than those I remember writing. ~Joyce Carol Oates~
People ask you for criticism but they only want praise. ~W. Somerset Maugham~
When I have to praise a writer, I usually do it by attacking his enemies. ~H.L. Mencken~
One of the greatest creations of the human mind is the art of reviewing books without ever having to read them. ~G. C. Lichtenberg~
Ideal dramatic criticism is unqualified appreciation. ~Oscar Wilde~
Criticism can be instructive in the sense that it gives readers, including the author of the book, some information about the critic's intelligence, or honesty, or both. ~Vladimir Nabokov~
And, finally, for any writer who may need a bit of an antidote to criticism, here's a list of some great ingredients to mix together to make your elixir:
Confronted by an absolutely infuriating review it is sometimes helpful for the victim to do a little personal research on the critic. Is there any truth to the rumor that he had no formal education beyond the age of eleven? In any event, is he able to construct a simple English sentence? Do his participles dangle? When moved to lyricism does he write "I had a fun time"? Was he ever arrested for burglary? I don't know that you will prove anything this way, but it is perfectly harmless and quite soothing. ~Jean Kerr~
Here's to the writing life--despite the critics!
Jeanne
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They say that everybody's a critic, and to a certain extent this is very true. And if true for the average person, it is even more so for the writer. To a writer, criticism is a fact of life! Those who might not be able to do any better themselves simply love to pick apart every paragraph...every sentence...every phrase...every word written--as long as it's written by someone else!
But, what else should a writer expect? After all, we, as writers repeatedly make ourselves vulnerable to the whims and caprices, the opinions and judgments, the beliefs, perspectives, and presuppositions of every individual who reads our work! By boldly putting our thoughts, ideas, feelings, and opinions out there for all the world to see...to evaluate..to weigh against their own experiences, their own feelings, and their own individual knowledge--as well as the wider body of knowledge, pseudo-knowledge, experience, and pure conjecture that surrounds us--we attract and even at times invite criticism.
But this is OK! We can take it--and hopefully we can at the same time learn not to take it to heart! Whatever their intent, our critics can teach us a great deal--as much about ourselves as they can about our work! If nothing else, they can teach us something about grace under fire...about turning the other cheek...about persevering despite all odds...and about transforming temporary failure into ultimate success!
So, let's say Thanks to critics everywhere! If nothing else, they give us the determination to keep trying...to continually challenge ourselves...to steadily improve our skills. And, if all else fails, they at least give us one possibly unintended gift: publicity!
Here are a few enlightening quotes by famous writers on critics and criticism:
A man must serve his time at every trade save censure--critics all are ready made. ~Lord Byron~
A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned. ~George Bernard Shaw~
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. ~Jim Bishop~
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good. ~P.G. Wodehouse~
Those who write ill, and they who ne'er durst write,
Turn critics out of mere revenge and spite. ~John Dryden~
The good critic is he who narrates the adventures of his soul among masterpieces. ~Anatole France~
Nature fits all her children with something to do,
He who would write and can't write, can surely review. ~James Russell Lowell~
Critic, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him. ~Ambrose Bierce~
Every good poet includes a critic, but the reverse will not hold. ~William Shenstone~
To literary critics a book is assumed to be guilty until it proves itself innocent. ~Nelson Algren~
A bad review by a man I admire hurts terribly. ~Anthony Burgess~
Time is the only critic without ambition. ~John Steinbeck~
I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise. ~Noel Coward~
Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing the open sea. ~John Updike~
The main use in criticism is in showing the manner of man the critic is. ~Frank Moore Colby~
And, finally, this gem:
I never read a book before reviewing it. It prejudices me so. ~Sydney Smith~
Hope these quotations, from some of the best writing minds that history has produced have made you smile or chuckle...consider or reflect. I always find it fascinating to read the differing viewpoints of a whole array of writers on a single specific topic--and the more intricately related to the writing craft, the better!
Till next time,
Jeanne
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Writers, as a rule, tend to have a great deal to say about many subjects--and writing is no exception. Here are a few pearls of wisdom on the writing craft from some of history's most prolific authors:
There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein. ~Red Smith~
Read over your compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out. ~Samuel Johnson~
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. That is too much of a temptation to the editor. ~Ring Lardner~
Writing is a wholetime job: no professional writer can afford only to write when he feels like it. ~W. Somerset Maugham~
The secret of popular writing is never to put more on a given page than the common reader can lap off it with no strain WHATSOEVER on his habitually slack attention. ~Ezra Pound~
Better to write for yourself and have no public than write for the public and have no self. ~Cyril Connolly~
If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by people who move their lips when they're reading to themselves. ~Don Marquis~
In composing, as a general rule, run your pen through every other word you have written; you have no idea what vigor it will give to your style. ~Sydney Smith~
Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short. ~Henry David Thoreau~
There are no dull subjects. There are only dull writers. ~H.L. Mencken~
You can write about anything, and if you write well enough, even the reader with no intrinsic interest in the subject will become involved. ~Tracy Kidder~
The wastepaper basket is the writer's best friend. ~Isaac Bashevis Singer~
When I sit at my table to write, I never know what it's going to be till I'm under way. I trust inspiration, which sometimes comes and sometimes doesn't. But I don't sit back waiting for it. I work every day. ~Alberto Moravia~
It's not wise to violate the rules until you know how to observe them. ~T. S. Eliot~
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug. ~Mark Twain~
The secret of good writing is to say an old thing a new way or to say a new thing an old way. ~Richard Harding Davis~
Well, dear Aspiring Writer, now that you've read all this practical advice, all these clever witticisms, and all these words of inspiration penned by wordsmiths who have actually accomplished what you may only dream of, there's only one thing left for you to do if you'd like to join their ranks: WRITE!
Literarily Yours,
Jeanne
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