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WritersNotes.Net: Helping Writers Follow Their Dreams Through Information, Inspiration, and Encouragement!
May '08 Comment Recognition
Once again it's time to recognize my valued readers who have left comments at Writer's Notes during the month of May, 2008. (My apologies that this edition of my monthly comment recognition post is so late. Life has been especially hectic lately!)
Thanks So Much!
I appreciate all your thoughtful comments! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts, opinions, ideas, experiences, and support at Writer's Notes! I truly enjoy reading your insights, experiences, and viewpoints! Thanks for making May another special month through your input! It's been fun!
May '08 Commenters
The following is a list (in no particular order) of all the fantastic folks who have left comments at Writer's Notes during May, 2008:
AmyHuang, at Travel String
Brad Shorr, at Word Sell, Inc.
Lillie Ammann, at A Writer's Words, An Editor's Eye
Joanna Young, at Confident Writing
Raven, at Alaska Chronicle
Krissy Knox, at Sometimes I Think
Robyn McMaster, at Brain-Based Biz
Cindy Nichols, at Kaleidoscope
Yvonne Russell, at Grow Your Writing Business
Lynn Smythe, at Freelance Online Work
Renae Brumbaugh, at Morning Coffee
Whitney, at Gaming Life
Mark Antony, at Hotel Mark
Dan (dcr), at dcrBlogs
Mother Earth, at Best of Mother Earth ~ Creating Healthier Lives
Michele Tune, at Writing the Cyber Highway
Diane, at The Mommy Diaries
Amanda, at The Mom Crowd
Cheryl Wright, at Cheryl Wright Writes
I Really Appreciate Your Comments!
Thanks, again for making the Writer's Notes conversation so much richer this month by visiting and sharing your thoughts, insights, techniques, and personal experiences with us!
Many thanks,
Jeanne
* Haven't managed to write my last several comment appreciation posts on the first of the month, as I like to, due to my incredibly busy schedule. In fact, this month, I'm even later than usual! But, though I may be late posting my thanks, you may be certain that I still appreciate your comments--and you--every bit as much!
P.S. If you've commented at Writer's Notes during May, and I've somehow managed to overlook you, please let me know. I appreciate every commenter, and I want each of you to get the recognition you deserve!
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add...any insights to share? I'd love to hear your thoughts! After all, your comments are what this post is all about!
Please note: If the StumbleUpon and other social bookmarking buttons aren't visible, please click the "Add Comments" link beneath this post. Thanks!
April '08 Comment Recognition
Once again it's time to recognize my valued readers who have left comments at Writer's Notes during the month of April, 2008. (It's so hard to believe that May is here already!)
Thanks So Much!
I appreciate every one of your thoughtful comments! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts, opinions, ideas, experiences, and support at Writer's Notes! I truly enjoy reading your insights, experiences, and viewpoints! Thanks for making April another special month through your input! It's been a blast!
April '08 Commenters
The following is a list (in no particular order) of all the fantastic folks who have left comments at Writer's Notes during April, 2008:
AmyHuang, at Travel String
Brad Shorr, at Word Sell, Inc.
Lillie Ammann, at A Writer's Words, An Editor's Eye
Joanna Young, at Confident Writing
Laura Spencer, at Writing Thoughts
Raven, at Alaska Chronicle
Krissy Knox, at Sometimes I Think
Robyn McMaster, at Brain-Based Biz
John Hewitt, at Writer's Resource Center
Cindy Nichols, at Kaleidoscope
Yvonne Russell, at Grow Your Writing Business
James Rickard, at Angling Fish
Dances with Words
Lynn Smythe, at Freelance Online Work
Renae Brumbaugh, at Morning Coffee
Jill Browne, at Skip On Over
Scott, at Enterprising Energy
Joanne Fedler, at Secret Writers Business
Cheryl J. at Rhythmatism
Sharon Hurley Hall, at Get Paid to Write Online
I Really Appreciate Your Comments!
Thanks, again for making the Writer's Notes conversation so much richer this month by visiting and sharing your thoughts, insights, and personal experiences with us!
Many thanks,
Jeanne
* Haven't managed to write my last few comment appreciation posts on the first of the month, as I like to, due to my incredibly busy schedule lately. But, though I may be a day late posting my thanks, you can rest assured--I still appreciate you every bit as much!
P.S. If you've commented at Writer's Notes during April, and I've somehow managed to overlook you, please let me know. I appreciate every commenter, and I want each of you to get the recognition you deserve!
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add...any insights to share? I'd love to hear your thoughts! After all, comments are what this post is all about!
Please note: If the StumbleUpon and other social bookmarking buttons aren't visible, please click the "Add Comments" link beneath this post. Thanks!
A Wonderful ProBlogger Idea!
I've just learned from Sharon Hurley Hall, at Get Paid to Write Online, in her post, Appreciating Blogging Writers, that ProBlogger Darren Rowse has proclaimed April 14th, 2008 Blogger Appreciation Day. Read about it in his post, Today is Blogger Appreciation Day [UNOFFICIAL]. Apparently, Darren received three e-mails earlier today thanking him for all he's done for bloggers, and that prompted him to make this pronouncement. What a nice thought!
Darren's Suggestions
Darren recommends that we e-mail bloggers who have inspired, taught, or helped us in other ways and thank them--or better still that we thank them publicly on our blogs. And though April 14th is nearly at an end in Australia (and may even be over already in other parts of the world), it's the thought that counts, and I'd like to thank the following bloggers who have had a profound effect on me and my blogging during my past 15-plus months of blogging:
Joanna Young, at Confident Writing
AmyHuang, at Travel String
Michele Tune, at Writing the Cyber Highway
Raven, at Alaska Chronicle
Sharon Hurley Hall, at Get Paid to Write Online
James Rickard, at Angling Fish
Laura Spencer, at Writing Thoughts
Brad Shorr, at WordSell, Inc.
Liz Strauss, at Successful Blog
Krissy Knox, at Sometimes I Think
Dan, at dcr Blogs
Melissa Garrett, at Lis Garrett ~ Silver-Tongued Writer
Robert Hruzek, at Middle Zone Musings
K-IntheHouse, at ShanKri-la
Tracy, at Movies and Life
Cindy Nichols, at Kaleidoscope
Yvonne Russell, at Grow Your Writing Business
Lillie Ammann, at A Writer's Words, An Editor's Eye
Danielle, The Bipolar Diaries
Robyn, at Brain-Based Biz
Lynn Smythe, at Freelance Online Work
John Hewitt, at Writer's Resource Center
And last, but certainly not least,
Darren Rowse, at ProBlogger
Many thanks, everyone, for all you've done!
Sincerely,
Jeanne
Did you enjoy this post? Even if Blogger Appreciation Day is over, it's never too late to thank a blogger for doing something nice! Who would you like to thank and how?
Please note: If the StumbleUpon and other social bookmarking buttons aren't visible, please click the "Add Comments" link beneath this post. Thanks!
Inspiration: A Mysterious Influence
Inspiration: that powerful yet ethereal quality that’s impossible to adequately define or quantify. Every time we think we’ve grasped it, it flutters away in a totally new direction, leaving us to marvel at its breadth and wonder how we’ve managed to miss this latest nuance.
Inspiration: a concept so difficult to capture in all its splendor that touching on every facet of its subtle yet powerful influence would likely take an eternity, were it possible to achieve at all.
Yet, as elusive and mysterious as the concept is, most writers are intimately acquainted with the reality. Though we may lack the capacity to put its effect into words that adequately capture its meaning, we recognize the potency of the influence it exerts on us in our most creative moments. We realize that, of whatever mysterious substance it may be composed, inspiration is the spark that motivates us, moves us, animates us, as we seek to express our inmost thoughts in words upon a page. Were we to ask 100 writers to define the term, we’d likely get 100 different definitions—and therein lies the magic of inspiration.
A Recently Explored Theme Resurrected in April
During the month of March, Confident Writing coach Joanna Young explored the topic of inspiration. And while I’ve kept up with her wonderful posts as best I could, I haven’t been as involved lately in the Confident Writing conversation as I’d like to be. Due to a hectic writing schedule, I never managed to contribute to the recent “4 x 4” writing project*, which explored the sources of writing inspiration from the point of view of each blogger who entered. Since I’ve been planning for some time now to explore this theme, I think the month of April would be a great time to tackle the topic here at Writer’s Notes.
Inspiration: Where Does It Come From?
I won’t attempt to define inspiration here—though doing so is a wonderful creative exercise that every writer should engage in periodically just to keep the imagination sharp. I’ll discuss, instead, where inspiration comes from—which is right in line with the focus of Joanna’s “4 x 4” writing project (except that I won’t be following the “4 x 4” format).
Today’s post will explore people and some of the ways they can inspire us. In future posts I’ll discuss several other sources of inspiration (in no discernable order of importance) which I’ve found, in my own experience, contribute to a writer’s creativity.
Part 1: People, Positive and Negative
The potential of other people to influence our lives (in both positive and negative ways) is huge. No matter how much importance we assign to it, we could never overestimate the impact that one individual—through example, words, or actions toward us—can have on us as people or on our inner, creative lives. A single person can make an enormous difference in our entire outlook on life. And whether this person affects us in subtle or earth-shaking ways, his or her influence will be reflected in our writing.
Inspiration: A Positive Influence—Even in a Negative Situation
Inspiration is normally thought of as a positive, enlightening influence; and well it should be, because it is—even when it springs from negative or painful experiences, emotions, or interactions. This is because inspiration has the mystical ability to make something ugly, bad, unpleasant, wrong, or deceitful yield something beautiful, good, pleasing, right, and true. It's a bit of a miracle, really. While it may not actually alter the negative situation or person in any way, it changes us and the way we view the unhappy circumstances or unpleasant people that inhabit our lives. It helps us negate their power and weaken their influence, empowering us to move forward, to grow, and to create.
Inspiration is the mysterious power that revolutionizes our outlook, changing our focus from the negative interactions or examples themselves to the positive life lessons and inner transformations we’ve experienced as a result of them. These are rich reservoirs from which to draw meaningful material—and potent catalysts to creative growth.
Creating the Positive from the Negative
We’ve all met or heard of people whose nurturing interactions or uplifting stories have inspired us directly—without the unpleasant need for painfully processing the negative into the positive. And that’s the kind of inspiration on which we thrive. How we love those people! Thankfully, wonderful role models abound, and many of us are fortunate enough to have some of these fantastic people in our own personal spheres. Yet, even in the absence of such positive people, when we face the not-so-happy kind of inspiration with courage, purpose, wisdom, strength, and vision; we develop a balance that infuses us with the spirit of the overcomer. Such inspiration is hard-won but immensely valuable to the writer.
So, if you’ve experienced painful interactions with others—and who hasn’t?—don’t ignore this potentially fruitful path to inspiration, because it offers a rare opportunity to turn a negative into a positive and use it to fuel your creativity. There’s no question that such experiences take time to process…to work through…to begin to see objectively. But the results are always well worth the effort.
People: Choose to Let Them Inspire You!
It may seem as if I’ve dwelt a bit too much on the negative in this post—a rather unconventional practice in discussing inspiration, I think. Yet, the positive people we meet inspire us naturally, with very little effort on our part. It’s the difficult people and the unpleasant situations they create that endanger the health of our Muse—unless we learn to handle them in positive, constructive, and creative ways.
People can be an incredible source of inspiration for us as writers—whether or not they intend to be! The deciding factor is what we choose to do with the ideas and emotions they plant within us. So, choose to be inspired! It will make an incredible difference in your work!
May the people you’ve known and those you’ve known about become a living lesson for you. May they spark the inspiration that enables you to produce works of beauty, nobility, and grace—regardless of who they are or what they’ve done.
To your Muse!
Jeanne
* I'd previously stated in this post that Joanna Young tagged me for this project. She actually didn't. I somehow managed to mix this project up with a meme for which she did recently tag me. Therefore I've corrected that statement.
Did you enjoy this post? Have any ideas about inspiration to share? How have people sparked your creativity as a writer? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
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March '08 Comment Recognition
It's time*, once again, to recognize my loyal readers who have left comments at Writer's Notes during the month of March, 2008.
You Contribute So Much!
I appreciate each and every one of you--not to mention your comments! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts, opinions, ideas, and experiences here at Writer's Notes! I truly enjoy hearing what you have to say and reading your insights, experiences, and viewpoints! Thanks for making March such a special month through your input! I've so enjoyed it!
March '08 Commenters
The following is a list (in no particular order) of all the wonderful people who have left comments at Writer's Notes during March, 2008:
AmyHuang, at Travel String
Tracy, at Movies and Life
Brad Shorr, at Word Sell, Inc.
Lillie Ammann, at A Writer's Words, An Editor's Eye
Joanna Young, at Confident Writing
Laura Spencer, at Writing Thoughts
Robert Hruzek, at Middle Zone Musings
Lilla, at Enviro Warrior
Sonya 1, at Freelance Tips
Always Eighteen
Raven, at Alaska Chronicle
Krissy Knox, at Sometimes I Think
Dan, at dcr Blogs
Lis Garrett, at Lis Garrett ~ Silver-Tongued Writer
Howard, at Real Crash
Damo, at My Apologetics
Robyn, at Brain-Based Biz
Wayne F, at Bucket Movies
Shan Jayaweera, at Watching You Tube
John Hewitt, at Writer's Resource Center
Jackie Cameron
Jarrah, at Back to the Eighties
The Daily Sonnet, at Lots of Sonnets
Ellen Weber, at Brain Based Business
Mike Crowl, at Webitz
Patricia, at Travel Stripe
Cheryl Wright, at Cheryl Wright Writes
Lady Henrietta Muddling
Thanks So Much for Your Comments!
Thanks, again for making the Writer's Notes conversation so much richer by visiting and sharing your thoughts, insights, and personal experiences in response to my posts!
With many thanks,
Jeanne
* I usually write these comment appreciation posts on the first of the month, and it was indeed still the first of April in my time zone when this post was written! Unfortunately, I didn't quite manage to beat the clock in the GMT zone (Orble's time zone), which is seven hours ahead of PDT. (Came really close, though, clocking in at one minute past midnight GMT on April 2nd, which was 5:01 pm PDT, April 1st.)
P.S. If you've commented at Writer's Notes during March, and I've somehow overlooked you, please let me know. I appreciate every commenter, and I want each of you to get the recognition you deserve!
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add...any insights to share? I'd love to hear from you! After all, you know how much I love comments!
Please note: If the StumbleUpon and other social bookmarking buttons aren't visible, please click the "Add Comments" link beneath this post. Thanks!
Right, Wrong, and Law
The person who is devoted to doing good, to loving God, and loving people tends to do what’s right naturally. He doesn’t need to be told what to do. He doesn’t need to have the rules and regulations spelled out and placed before him repeatedly. And while he is by no means perfect, and even fails at times, he knows what’s right, and his goal is to do it.
He may occasionally need a little encouragement, a touch of inspiration, or a little reminder now and then—after all, none of us is perfect, yet—but by and large, his actions square with his personal ideals, which tend to mesh with society’s general consensus of good versus evil and of legal versus illegal.
Writing and Its Laws
In a similar sense, the writer who loves words, thoughts, and noble ideas, and is willing to surrender to her creativity and inspiration also tends to almost miraculously fulfill the “laws” of good writing. And while writing is, to a large extent, an intellectual exercise, there’s a sense in which the ability to write in this almost “exalted” manner is a matter of the heart and not the head.
In Writing, as in Law, Heart Can Neither Be Legislated Nor Taught
In the same sense that goodness cannot be legislated, inspiration and creativity cannot be taught. One can study and practice the principles of good writing all he desires; but if he lacks the spark of creativity… inspiration… imagination— of innate talent, if you will— the principles of writing will do him little good. His writing will be cold…dry…clinical—perhaps technically correct, yet lacking in heart.
Heart-Learning, as Opposed to Book-Learning
By the same token, the writer whose talent, creativity, and inspiration come from deep within may not be well-studied in the principles of “good” writing, the nuances of grammar, or the particulars of punctuation; yet he wields his words with power, delivers his message with impact, and wraps the fingers of emotion around the hearts of his readers in ways they couldn’t possibly understand. Like the person who does good without needing to be shown the laws that say he must, this writer is a law unto himself.
While far more could be said on this topic, these are a few of my musings about “the Law” as it applies to writing.
May you always be a law unto yourself when it comes to your writing!
Best wishes,
Jeanne
This post is my entry to the Middle Zone Musings “What I Learned From…the Law” group writing project.
Did you enjoy this post? What are your thoughts on creativity, inspiration, and the "laws" of writing? We'd love to hear them!
Please note: If the StumbleUpon and other social bookmarking buttons aren't visible, please click the "Add Comments" link beneath this post. Thanks!
February '08 Comment Recognition
It's time, once again, to recognize my loyal readers who have left comments at Writer's Notes during the month of February, 2008.
You Contribute So Much!
I so appreciate each one of your comments! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts, opinions, ideas, and experiences here at Writer's Notes! I truly enjoy hearing what you have to say, and reading your insights, experiences, and viewpoints is a pleasure! Thanks for making the month of February so special through both your visits and your input! It's been fun!
February '08 Commenters: The List
The following is a list (in no particular order) of all the wonderful people who have left comments at Writer's Notes during February, 2008:
AmyHuang, at Travel String
Joanne Fedler, at Secret Writers Business
Tracy, at Movies and Life
Brad Shorr, at Word Sell, Inc.
Lillie Ammann, at A Writer's Words, An Editor's Eye
Michele Tune, at Writing the Cyber Highway
Joanna Young, at Confident Writing
Laura Spencer, at Writing Thoughts
Robert Hruzek, at Middle Zone Musings
Lynn Smythe, at Freelance Online Work
Sharon Hurley Hall, at Get Paid to Write Online
Dianna G, at Fictional Worlds
Cindy Nichols, at Kaleidoscope
JP Shaw, at Sassy Ink Author
Lilla, at Enviro Warrior
Rosemary, at Alpaca Notes
James Rickard, at Angling Fish
Merle
Susan Keeping, of What's in a Word?
Rebecca Laffar-Smith, of Writers Round-About
Matt Jones, of Blogging Fingers
Tina
Mark Goodyear, at Good Word Editing
Yvonne Russell, at Grow Your Writing Business
Tom Colvin, at Becoming A Writer Seriously
Norm
Thanks So Much for Your Comments!
Thanks, again for making the Writer's Notes conversation so much richer by visiting and sharing your thoughts, insights, and personal experiences in response to my posts!
Gratefully yours,
Jeanne
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add...any insights to share? We'd love to hear from you! After all, you know how much we love comments!
Please note: If the StumbleUpon and other social bookmarking buttons aren't visible, please click the "Add Comments" link beneath this post. Thanks!
Be sure to drop by the Cafe for a visit!
Writer's Cafe Reopens This Friday
I'm excited to report that Yvonne Russell will be reopening her popular Writers Cafe, at Grow Your Writing Business this Friday, February 29th. I'm sure that everyone who's enjoyed gathering at Yvonne's place for a friendly chat about the writing life will agree that that's good news! Yvonne has been on hiatus lately due to unforseen circumstances--and also taken a much-deserved rest--and it will be fantastic to see her back! I know I speak for many other writers and bloggers when I say that both she and the Cafe have truly been missed!
Be Sure to Be There!
The grand reopening of the Writers Cafe will happen this Friday, so be sure not to miss it! As before, Yvonne's cyber cafe will be open every weekend, Friday through Sunday, giving writers and bloggers a wonderful place to congregate over the weekend, sharing inspiration, experiences, accomplishments, and encouragement with their peers. Be sure to bring along a cup of coffee, tea, or cocoa, and prepare to settle in with your favorite sweet--or not-so-sweet--snack. You're gonna love it!
Hope to see you there!
Jeanne
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add? What do you enjoy most about the Writers Cafe? If you're new to it, hope you'll stop by and introduce yourself! It's a very friendly group!
Please note: If the StumbleUpon and other social bookmarking buttons aren't visible, please click the "Add Comments" link beneath this post. Thanks!
A Friend In Need
When my blogging buddy, Michele Tune, learned of my family's battle with sickness, which prevented me from posting as often as usual, she did a very gracious thing: She wrote and sent me a guest post to help fill in the gap and take some of the pressure off me. (Now I know why I gave her the "Blogging Gem Award" recently: because she truly is one gem of a blogger!)
Now, on to Michele's post!
That’s What Writers Bloggers Are For
By Michele L. Tune
Since I've joined the online writing community, I've noticed how gracious other writers bloggers are. Offering up compliments, advice, tips, sharing markets, lessons for better writing... The list goes on. It's amazing how warm, caring, and kind the writing world is. I've grown to love it beyond words, as well as each of the amazing writers I come into contact with daily, including Jeanne! It's so encouraging to know there are other writers out there who understand what it's like to stay up all night writing, to write while being sick, or how it feels to have the writing career mocked like it's nothing more than lounging on a couch wearing jammies, sipping a latte, and playing on a laptop. It's just nice to belong, isn't it?
That's why when I read Jeanne's recent post, my heart melted. I sympathized with her illnesses and those of her family members, as I've struggled through many health issues, surgeries, and trials of illness myself. I have the special gift of also being able to empathize. I can feel other people's pain. My heart literally hurts for them. I think that's why when I write, I write with such emotion. I not only share my own heart, giving my readers a peek into my very soul, but envision the aching hearts of my readers and aspire to touch their hearts, stir their emotions, and make their day better. It's why I created my motto: Inspiring readers one word at a time...
Jeanne's "Please Bear With Me!" plea really got my attention. Bear with her? Why not help her? Why not use my talent with words to write a guest post and take a little pressure off? It's bad enough she has to tend to sick family members while not feeling well herself, meet clients' deadlines, and be superwoman overall, why should she have to worry about pleasing Writer's Notes readers with fresh and unique posts every day all on her own? That's where I come in.
So, do you want to know how to step up your writing game? I decided to share a few techniques I use as I write the cyber highway.
1. Be open. Let your readers in. Search deep inside your heart, sweep the cobwebs of your soul, and expose the real you. Your readers will feel comfortable knowing you’re genuine, that you care enough to write what’s hardest to write, and they’ll come begging for more.
2. Keep your eyes open. Just like this guest post, I saw an opportunity to help a writer friend while at the same time write for a new readership. It never hurts to guest post. I’ve made up my mind to do more of it this year. If you see a window of opportunity, crawl through! The person on the other end may very well love your idea and who knows where that will lead?
3. Get organized. I mention this often on my blog. If you know where you’ve sent your queries and submissions and when you sent them, you’ll be able to focus on actually writing instead of wondering. Make copies of your checks or print out PayPal invoices when you’re paid and staple them to your acceptance letters and contracts. Keep them in a file and update that file or make a new one each year. It’s refreshing, and inspiring, to be neat and be able to find things. It leaves more time for creativity and writing!
4. Listen. Eavesdrop. Pay attention! Some writers take a notebook and pen with them while they’re out and about, even jotting down snippets of conversation they overhear. That dialogue may set your fictional piece or novel on fire!
5. Care. Care about your writing, yourself, your readers, your work. Write from your heart, write often, write to engage your readers and bring them to the edge of their chairs. Don’t just rush off the first thing you write. Let it sit. Clear your mind for a day or so. Then go back with a fresh eye. Be willing to cut words or entire sentences or paragraphs to polish your piece and make it the best it can be.
I hope these five tips help you. Never think that you have no room to improve. Don’t feel like you have nothing left to learn. Writers evolve, change, and grow. We get better with time and practice, by studying and writing more.
And the next time you see a blogger friend struggling, help. Because that’s what bloggers are for!
Michele L. Tune is a Freelance Writer and Blogger. Find her at www.michele-tune.com or her blog, Writing the Cyber Highway
--
Kindest Regards,
Michele L. Tune
Inspiring readers one word at a time...
Freelance Writer & Blogger
www.michele-tune.com
Writing the Cyber Highway: a blog
ADDED NOTE: Michele has written an excellent blog review of the Writer's Round-About blog as an entry to Rebecca Lafarr-Smith's exciting contest. She has the opportunity to win $100 worth of books from Amazon.com. So, why not stop by, read her entry, Cyber Contest: Win Prizes from Amazon!, and give her your support by voting for it via Rebecca's You Decide The Winner! post. (You'll be able to read the other contest entries, as well, by using the links in Rebecca's post.)
Michele got my vote--not merely because she's a great person (though she certainly is that)--but because her post is excellently written and is also the only entry that followed every one of the contest rules--and then some! Also, if you'd like to Stumble her post, feel free to stop back by Writer's Notes and use the link. Check out her great post! The contest ends Saturday, February 16th. So, if you haven't voted yet, please vote before then! Thanks! (If you're reading this post after that date, visit her blog anyway! It's fantastic!)
Did you enjoy this post? Why not let Michele know it! Have any thoughts or experiences to share? Michele would just love to hear from you!
My Entry to the Middle Zone Musings Group Writing Project
The following is my entry to the MZM "What I Learned From...People" group writing project. I thought this was a particularly appropriate time to post this story, since its topic is illness, which is something my family has become very intimately involved with of late. Be sure to check out the other entries to Robert's writing project once he posts the links tomorrow, Monday. (It's still Sunday here in America.) I'm sure you'll learn a great deal from everyone's shared wisdom!
A Great Concept to Explore
Though it's basically too late to enter the group project, you might nevertheless consider using Robert's "What I Learned From...People" concept as a writing prompt to exercise your writing "muscles." It's bound to foster some real insight as you explore the experience you choose to write about. And it goes without saying that this exercise would make a great blog post--even without entering it into the writing project. You might even use the idea as the basis for a magazine or online article about a person you've learned something from, and make a little money in the process.
My Entry
What I Learned From a Physician With an Atrocious Bedside Manner
People can be fantastic teachers—whether or not they actually intend to be!
A Very Sick Family
More years ago than I care to count, when my oldest child was about four years old or so, our entire family became very ill: Mom, Dad, and children numbers One, Two, and Three. That was a lot of sick people to have in one house, believe me! We had such bad coughs that we could barely sleep at night, and our stomach muscles were so sore from coughing that we thought we’d die if something wasn’t done about it soon.
We were too sick to go to the pharmacy, and being new in town, we didn’t have our own doctor yet. Well, between sneezes, wheezes, and coughing fits, I did a little research and managed to find a pharmacy that actually delivered. (That, in itself was a small miracle!) I then chose a doctor’s name from the phone book and called his office, prepared to beg, if need be, to get my family some much-needed medicine to help get us through this horrendous illness.
A Compassionate Medical Assistant
As it turned out, I didn’t have to beg. It was late in the day and apparently the good doctor had already left. But his friendly, helpful, and compassionate assistant happened to be working that afternoon. (And as I would later learn after actually meeting the doctor, that was, for us, a large miracle.) I explained our situation to him, and he was very concerned. He agreed to phone in a prescription to the pharmacy which would then deliver it to us. I thanked him profusely between sneezes. I could hardly believe our good fortune!
Soon we had our medicine and some much-needed relief. We were ecstatic (at least as ecstatic as you can be when you’re down for the count with the world’s worst cold.) But our joy was to be short-lived.
Complications
Soon, I noticed that my oldest son was developing an angry red rash all over his body, along with a frighteningly high fever. After putting him into the bathtub, splashing him with tepid water to bring down his temperature, and doing everything else humanly possible to make him comfortable, I consulted Dr. Benjamin Spock. (Well, not personally—but through his book, Baby and Child Care. While I never went in for his permissiveness “gospel,” his advice always did come in handy where my children’s physical health was concerned.)
Through that well-known paperback book, I soon discovered what was wrong with my son: he had scarlet fever! There was no question in my mind! It was obvious! At any rate, I knew we needed to visit the doctor. By that time, we’d used up all the cough medicine the doctor’s assistant had prescribed, and we were once again coughing uncontrollably and feeling quite miserable.
Doctor’s Visit
Who better to call than the doctor whose assistant had so kindly helped us, I thought. (It seemed to make sense at the time.) I was so naïve in those days that I even thought that carrying in the huge empty bottle that had once contained codeine cough syrup would somehow lend credence to our illness, since his assistant had seen fit to prescribe it for my terribly ill and suffering family. I couldn’t have been more wrong. (But I’m wiser today because of it.) However, I was hardly prepared for the reception and treatment I actually received when I arrived at this doctor’s office.
Contentious Diagnosis
On carrying my son into the examining room, I set him down on the examining table and said, “I think my son has scarlet fever,” to which the doctor unceremoniously replied something to the effect of, “I’ll be the one to tell you what he has.” (I was a bit taken aback by his unfriendly demeanor.) He seemed annoyed that I might actually know what was wrong with my son.
He examined him and guess what he had, folks: yes, it was scarlet fever; yet this doctor wasn’t about to leave it at that. He actually accused me of trying to tell him how to practice medicine. Can you believe it? (Now, mind you, I hadn’t walked in boldly declaring that I knew beyond any doubt what was wrong with my son—or what the doctor should do about it [other than bringing in the empty cough syrup bottle, foolish as that was]—but had actually quite meekly stated what I thought was wrong with him. And though I really was all but sure I was right, I didn’t come across that way—at least not to anyone with a normal-sized ego.)
Insult to Injury
To add insult to injury (and this physician epitomized that unpleasant offense), despite the fact that I was coughing right in front of him there in the office, he refused to refill the prescription for the cough syrup that actually worked and that would have saved us so much misery over the coming days, telling me in no uncertain terms that he was writing one for Robitussin, which would, of course, never work for a cough such as we had. (I know, it was partly my fault for handing him the empty cough syrup bottle; but I believe he should have known what medication was the correct one for the problem. And who writes a prescription for Robitussin, anyway?)
Attitude Is Everything
I also know something else: his attitude was uncalled for, and that wasn’t my fault. He was unfriendly, uncompassionate, judgmental, and (dare I say it?) unprofessional. That was a very stressful time for my family and me. I was concerned about my son and the rest of my still-sick family, I was still sick myself, and I didn’t even have enough money to take a cab back home (as I had on the way in) but would be spending the last of my money to catch the bus home with my very sick son, which promised to be a long and strenuous trip on the small-town bus system where the buses didn’t run very often. It was an ordeal I dreaded, as I sat there in his office, feeling quite forlorn. But, did he show any concern? None whatsoever.
Insult Number Two
Aside from all of the above, do you know what this doctor said to me, when I told him that I’d had to take a cab to his office—which was quite a distance from where we lived and which I certainly couldn’t afford. “Your son is worth it.” But this wasn't a compassionate statement spoken on behalf of my son; it was a judgmental barb meant to point out what a bad mother I must be for even mentioning it.
Perhaps I should say, in his defense, that he didn’t know that I couldn’t afford the cab fare I’d spent to get there or that I didn’t have enough money to take a cab back home and that I’d be spending my last few dollars to even return home on the bus. But somehow I don’t really think it would have mattered to him, because, you see, he’d already made up his mind about me; and for some reason that to this day I don’t really understand, he simply didn’t like me.
Painful Experiences Teach Us Lessons
This was a painful experience for me, in part because it’s always difficult to be misjudged and misunderstood by others and in part because it’s even more difficult to be mistreated, by them, as well. But I have learned a few things from the experience. Here they are:
1. First Impressions Count; Give Yours a Little Advance Thought
Think about the impression you will make upon a total stranger if you do or say the thing you’re planning. It may seem, from your perspective, to be fine. It may even seem to be the right thing. But it may not seem so right from the other person’s point of view, and may in fact cause the person—who, after all, doesn’t have the benefit of knowing you—to think less of you.
So, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to see the situation as that person would. The exercise could prove quite revealing—and could save you untold misery. (Case in point: If I’d thought ahead about what it might look like to a doctor who didn’t know me to see me walk in with a large, empty codeine cough medicine bottle—that he had neither prescribed nor okayed—asking for a refill, I likely would have left the bottle at home.)
2. People Will Misjudge Your Motives; Explain Yourself
Those who don’t know you have nothing on which to base a judgment which attributes pure motives to your words or actions. They haven’t had the opportunity to learn to trust you, and therefore they will judge the things you say and do in a vacuum—well, not a complete vacuum, since, as we know, we all evaluate everything we see and hear through the filter of our own personal beliefs, experiences, and/or prejudices.
So, be prepared when people misjudge and misunderstand you, and do your best to act and speak in ways that will help to dispel those myths about your malevolent motives. This might include speaking up when necessary to explain some things that the other person may not understand about you or your circumstances (as in my concern about having spent most of the last of my money on cab fare to get my son to the doctor.)
3. Many People Are Prepared to Think the Worst of You; Prove Them Wrong
There actually are people who are constantly on the lookout for every negative thing they can discover—or dream up—about you and completely prepared to make the most of it at your expense. They may be arrogant, insensitive individuals with inflexible ideas who think they have a monopoly on wisdom and therefore have the world and everyone in it—you included—figured out.
Once they’ve made up their mind about you, they’ll sometimes go out of their way to be rude, sarcastic, and demeaning in their treatment of you, and you’ll have a tough time trying to convince them that they are wrong about you. Do, try, though. But, if the person is so inflexible that you’re simply unable to succeed, don’t take it to heart. (Easier said than done, I know.) But do your best to ignore it and move on. (In this case, I definitely took it to heart—and to be honest, it still hurts today, if I let it get the better of me.)
4. Experts/Professionals Do Not Always Enjoy Being Told Something by Common Folks; Ask, Don't Tell
Many professionals have quite large egos and can’t handle having us lowly peons take the wind out of their sails by informing them that we already knew what they’d hoped to impress us with by telling us themselves. Many—though by no means all—professionals, including doctors and lawyers, seem to believe that all their patients/clients are ignorant and uninformed about medicine or law, simply because they don’t have “MD” or “Esquire” after their names. This is too bad, as many of us engage in extensive research to learn what we need to know about our situations and are actually quite well-informed about these matters.
There’s little we can do with the egotistical professional, except perhaps speak our minds in a confident yet humble manner, deferring to their greater expertise, possibly by expressing our thoughts and concerns but asking their opinions. Should we disagree with their opinions, it would probably be best to do so through the roundabout route of asking questions rather than declaring our disagreement. Be prepared for the fact that this will not always work, though, in which case you may simply need to make that visit your last visit. (In my case, my first visit to this doctor was indeed my last.)
5. Be Thankful that Truly Unfriendly People Are in the Minority, And Appreciate the Friendly Ones
Meeting people like these always brings a greater appreciation for those who aren’t that way—or at least it should. It’s important to remember that while dealing with such abrasive and uncaring individuals is highly unpleasant, they are, thankfully, in the minority and our bad experiences with them can always be balanced against the good experiences we’ve had with other, more caring people (like the esteemed doctor’s compassionate young assistant who had stepped forward to help us when we were so badly in need of his help.)
Calling those more heartwarming experiences to mind more often, rather than dwelling on the heart-wrenching ones, can help renew our faith in our fellow man and counterbalance the great unpleasantness we’ve experienced in our dealings with the negative minority.
Hopefully, you've learned a few things along with me, as you've read my story of "What I Learned From...People".
Thanks so much for reading!
Jeanne
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