MZM Group Writing Project: What I Learned From...My Friends
September 19th 2008 06:14
A Writing Project Too Good to Miss
The topic of this month’s WILF (What I Learned From) group writing project at Middle Zone Musings is What I Learned From…My Friends. And while I was unable to complete my post in time for the deadline, I wrote it anyway because I still wanted to contribute my own thoughts on this very important topic. (Be sure to read the other great entries over at MZM!)
As Robert Hruzek comes back online after his recent battle with Hurricane Ike, during which the thoughts and prayers of his many friends went up on his behalf—and were answered in that he and his wife are safe and their Houston home has suffered no damage—I feel that this is a fitting time to broach the topic of friends. (Robert, how did you know that the topic you’d chosen earlier this month would be so timely?)
Here are my musings about the friends I’ve made both online and off and the many profound ways that these fantastic folks have spoken into my life.
Friends: A Host of Gifts, A Host of Lessons
Friends care. They always have our best interests at heart. They’d much rather hear how we’re really doing than listen to a litany of pretentious pleasantries. They teach us that honest communication is absolutely necessary for getting our needs met.
Friends accept us as we are. They don’t expect us to be perfect. By accepting us unconditionally, they help us to accept ourselves—weaknesses and all. They teach us that we have value, that we are worthy of acceptance—regardless of our shortcomings, simply because we are us.
Friends encourage. When nothing seems to be going our way, when the whole world appears to be against us, when we’re most in need of a cheering section, friends are always there to encourage us and build our confidence. They teach us that "two are better than one...for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow..." *
Friends provide perspective. They have an amazing way of cutting to the heart of a matter and pointing out the aspects we can’t seem to recognize for ourselves in the midst of our own hurts, hang-ups, insecurities, mental blocks, and self-imposed limitations. They teach us that things aren't always as they seem--and that, so often, that's very good news!
Friends allow us the luxury of making mistakes—and learning from them—without judging or thinking less of us and without saying “I told you so.” They teach us that it’s OK to be fallible and that when we fail, we will recover.
Friends forgive. They care enough to place the value of our friendship above their own hurt feelings. They don’t close us off when we’ve said or done something foolish but willingly talk it out in a non-accusatory way. And by setting that wonderfully generous example, they increase our capacity to forgive ourselves, teaching us that we aren't the wretched, hopeless cases we sometimes think we must be.
Friends share our joys, as well as our sorrows. They never envy our successes or begrudge us our moment in the spotlight. Instead, they cheer the loudest and step forward to become our greatest fans. They teach us that, contrary to the popularity of the phrase, there’s really no such thing as a fair-weather friend. There are only fair-weather acquaintances--because real friends stand by us through sunshine and rain.
Friends give. They contribute to our well-being in countless ways—from sharing their insights to sharing their sympathy—providing the mental, emotional, material, and even physical sustenance we require in order to thrive. They teach us the wisdom of the age-old truth that it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive. **
Friends tell us the truth—gently and with love. They know that dishonesty and lack of candor drives a wedge between people; yet, by the same token, they recognize that tact is one of the greatest ways of showing they truly care. They teach us that harshness is never required for getting one's point across.
Friends help us laugh at ourselves. They never laugh at us but only with us, and in that delightfully liberating way, they teach us never to take ourselves too seriously
Friends inspire us to use our gifts. Through their influence, they bring out the best in us. They teach us that resources reside within us that we ourselves don’t always recognize—or utilize—and they gently remind us to do so. Because of their belief in us, they plant within us the desire to fulfill their highest expectations--and they make us believe we actually can.
Friends smooth our rough edges. Through their example, their patience, their insight, and their counsel, they teach us to see ourselves as we are, and they jump-start the process of gradually narrowing the gap between where we are and where we’d like to be, as they sand away our imperfections and help us refine our personalities.
Friends sharpen us. They help us hone our mental facility to a razor’s edge by asking incisive questions that urge us to analyze, describe, express, explain, and often even defend our motives, opinions, ideas, and perceptions. They hold us accountable for responsibly developing both our humanity and our intellect. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” *** In the process they teach us that, in order to reach our full potential, we need one another.
Friends validate us. They teach us that we are unique, that no one else in the entire universe can take our place, that the air we breathe and the space we inhabit, while gifts, are things of which we are supremely worthy. They teach us, too, that when we are gone and our personal space is empty, we will leave an inexpressible void which no one else can fill—and we will be missed.
The Wonderful Impact of Friends
These are the many lessons I’ve learned from my friends, lessons that impact my life—and my writing—in so many wonderful ways!
Your friend,
Jeanne
* Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – The Bible, King James Version
** Acts 20:35 – The Bible, King James Version
*** Proverbs 27:17 – The Bible, New International Version
Did you enjoy this post? Have anything to add? How do your friends impact your life? How do they impact your writing? Do they inspire? Encourage? Believe in your talent? Help you sharpen your skills? Hold you accountable for taking care of business? Give you constructive feedback? I’d love it if you’d share your thoughts!
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Comment by Brad Shorr
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
How kind of you to say those things! Thanks so much for your thoughts and also for the Stumble! Robert has decided to include my post in the project, which I think was really fantastic of him!
Thanks again!
Jeanne
Comment by Amy Derby
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
I just had to get in on this one--even if my post was late! This topic was just too good to pass up!
Thanks for the visit!
Jeanne
Comment by Wilson Pon
Techno Stuffs
Nice to see you getting involved in this MZM!
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks for noticing! It was really great of Robert to include my post! I really love participating in his WILF writing projects, but I often don't manage to find the time.
Thanks for the visit!
Jeanne