Why No Posts, Lately? Let Me Explain
May 5th 2009 23:27
My Sincere Apologies!
I'd like to share with my readers the reason for the dearth of posts here at Writer's Notes--and also to offer my sincerest apologies for the fact that I haven't updated in over a month.
My mother has been quite ill for the past month or so, and her condition continues to deteriorate (far, far faster than I'd ever expected it would). In fact, to be honest, her condition really caught me unawares (and unprepared). (It's almost like living in the Twilight Zone, experiencing how quickly things went downhill and just how much they've changed from day to day.) I'm finding that, as Mom's 24/7 caregiver, so many issues are accosting me from every side on a daily basis--aside from the rigors of her everyday care, which is, in itself, pretty strenuous--and this has made it difficult to even think about updating my blog, much less actually sitting down and doing it.
I hope you'll all bear with me as I do my best to get through this very intense period of my (and my mom's) life. If I'm able, I'll try to post a little something now and then; yet, it will be so comforting to me to know that you'll all understand if I should be unable to find the time, energy, or inspiration to post.
Thankfully, I've had a bit of a hiatus from my other freelancing obligations during the past month (April) but will be back to producing a certain minimal amount of freelance work starting this month (May). Thanks so much for understanding that, for now, that may be all I'll be able to handle. We'll just have to see how things work out. So much is based on how things go with Mom, and from day to day, I never really know what to expect. Hospice became involved in her care this Sunday, and I simply never know what tomorrow will bring.
If I'm able, perhaps I'll share a link or two with you now and then, possibly an editing tip, a quotation, or a few words of writing wisdom, or maybe I'll simply share a few of my thoughts about the things I'm experiencing during this truly difficult period of my life. We'll just have to see.
Thankfully, my faith, my family, my faith family, and many other wonderful people (and resources) are helping me get through this. I don't know what I'd do without them.
Thanks so much for reading--and caring!
Jeanne
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Comment by Karen Swim
I miss you blogging but completely understand. If you feel up to it simply wave a finger now and then to let us know how you are. You and yours will be in my prayers.
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks so very much for your support--and your prayers! I truly think that, despite all the practical help and moral support I've received since this ordeal began, if it weren't for the prayer covering I've enjoyed lately, life would be so much more difficult than it already is. So thanks again for joining the other prayer warriors I know in lifting us up in prayer during a really trying time in our lives.
Blessings,
Jeanne
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
Comment by Lillie
I'm continuing to pray for you and your mom. You have your priorities straight. Though we miss your blogging, we understand you're doing something far more important right now.
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks so much for those very kind words of encouragement and understanding. They are much- appreciated.
Jeanne
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Your prayers -- along with those of all the other wonderful people who are praying for us -- have truly been a lifeline. I simply can't express how much it means to me to have the support and understanding of all my blogging friends.
Thanks again,
Jeanne
Comment by Janet Collins
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Your blog will thrive even after a break. Good on you for getting the priorities right and putting your Mom first.
Janet
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks so much for your encouragement. After all she's done for me, Mom is more than worth it (though, of course, she'd be well worth it in any event).
I so appreciate everyone's cheering me on so enthusiastically.
Thanks again,
Jeanne
Comment by dcr
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks so much for that very kind sentiment. I certainly appreciate it. It isn't looking as if Mom's condition will improve, though. Hospice has been called in and, though we're doing all we can for her, she's fading quite rapidly, and we're gradually coming to terms with the inevitable--painful as that is.
I never knew that Alzheimer's was a fatal disease that ended this badly--and certainly never expected my sharp, alert, and creative mother to succumb to its devastation. It's very sad. I can hardly believe that, a mere three months ago, Mom was watching TV and eating pizza with me, and today she shows no recognition of who I am and is fast losing the ability to even drink through a straw (having already lost the ability to walk, sit up, or do anything else for herself).
Thanks again for your kind words. Your support is truly appreciated.
Jeanne
Comment by Karen Swim
When it gets too hard, think of us out here across the miles praying for you and your mom, sending our love and prayers, embracing you in hugs of friendship.
God bless you Jeanne!
Karen
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks so much for your kindness, empathy, and compassion--and also for your prayers! They mean so much! What a lovely scenario you've pictured of my online friends praying for, loving, and supporting my mom and me. Who could help but feel the strength of such a circle of support!
You're so right that music can be soothing and calming at times like these--to both patient and caregiver.
Thanks again for your generosity of spirit! I so appreciate you!
Blessings,
Jeanne
Comment by Lillie Ammann
I echo what Karen said about your mother still being there even though she can't communicate.
My father deteriorated gradually over seven years after being diagnosed with Alzheimers. He was in a nursing home for the last months because he required too much care to be kept at home—he was completely bedridden with no control of bodily functions and almost blind and deaf. He had shown no response to anyone or anything for months.
When the nursing home called us to say the end was near, we strapped him in a wheelchair, put him in a van with a lift, and drove him the 50 miles home. He was born on the family farm, had lived there his entire life except for his time in the Army during WWII and those last months in the nursing home, and always wanted to die there. We just prayed that he would live long enough to reach home—even if he didn't know where he was, we would know we fulfilled his wish.
He had the look of a trapped animal in his eyes when we left the nursing home, as he had for a long time before that. After we got him home, he lived four more days. We took turns so he had family member with him the entire time, talking to him, holding his hand, describing the cows visible through the bedroom window, telling him we loved him. Gradually that trapped look went out of his eyes, replaced by a look of peace.
Finally I told him that if God was calling him home, it was time for him to go. I promised we would take care of Mama and told him his work here was done. A few hours later, he died peacefully.
Even though he had been unable to respond or communicate at all for many months and his communication had been limited for years, we know he heard and understood everything we said to him. He knew he was home on the farm and going home to the Lord. I am so grateful that we were able to give him that time in the place he loved with the people he loved.
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thanks so much for sharing that touching story. It's such a blessing to be surrounded by our loved ones at the end of life and, if at all possible, to be at home, where we feel more at peace. My mom is also at home, and as the moment of her leaving us grows nearer, it's so comforting to know that her children who are able (as well as my daughter--the only one of my children who doesn't live locally) will soon be here to say goodbye. We can only pray that all will make it in time, since she is very near the end and could go at any time. I feared it would be yesterday, but she's still hanging on. She's no longer conscious, but I believe she's hanging on as long as she can waiting for her loved ones to arrive. I don't know whether everyone will make it in time, but I've committed that issue, along with all the others, to the Lord, knowing that ultimately He is in control. Two of my sisters will be arriving late tonight and one tomorrow night, and my daughter will be arriving Thursday night.
Thanks so very much for your very kind and encouraging words.
Jeanne
Comment by Lillie Ammann
I pray that your family will reach your mother's side in time to tell her goodbye. I am thinking of you and praying for you.
Comment by Nevar
Is Why
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Mom did open her eyes and look right at me earlier tonight, which was very encouraging. Perhaps her loved ones will make it, after all.
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Your very thoughtful wishes for my Mom, my family, and me bring peace in themselves. Thanks for sending those truly generous sentiments our way.
Jeanne
Comment by Wilson Pon
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Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Thank you so much for those comforting words. Jesus has indeed blessed me in so many ways. He's given me so much support, directly from Himself, as well as from my natural family, my church family, my online family, and from all the wonderful people from Hospice, who have come out to help my mom and us through this.
Mom passed away early Sunday morning, and though we're all very sad to lose her, we're also rejoicing that she's now in the Lord's presence with all her other loved ones who have gone before.
Thanks again for your caring and support!
Jeanne